Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML
Today, someone popped my birthday balloon at school. Her reasoning was that she "didn't want people to know we have the same birthday." Who popped it? My identical twin sister. FML
Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
Today, the only person in my entire family to show up sober and on time to my graduation was my grandma. FML
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