Madame
Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status, saying, "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming, when she decided our hamster had "dust on his back". FML
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook post about me starting my period and for everyone to be nice to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML
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