Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
Today, an elderly woman was crossing the street and dropped her bag of groceries. I got out of my car to assist her, but she beat me repeatedly, yelling that I was "enforcing a stereotype". Sorry for trying to help. FML
Today, I got called to the guidance office, only to be told my boyfriend broke up with me. He wasn't sure how to break the news to me, so he made my guidance counselor do it for him. FML
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