dbd_fml

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

Today, I realized the only reason I was invited to go on vacation with my extended family was so I could babysit everyone's children while the adults go out and have fun. FML