forever_u_and_me

Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I felt. She instantly burst out laughing and said, "A crush? Dude, what are you, 12?! Hahaha!" FML