kaylaaaaaaaaaaaa

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

ICYMI

Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML

Today, while going up a ski-lift I accidentally dropped my ticket. The ticket I needed at the top to come back down. I had to hike down the mountain in flip-flops. FML

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML

Today, I fell asleep while lifeguarding, thinking I could get away with it due to my sunglasses. When I woke up, I saw my boss waving at me. Apparently she'd been trying to get my attention for five minutes. FML