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Strainer - 23/05/2015 04:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

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Anonymous - 20/04/2014 04:03 - United States - Meridian

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

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OuchImAMoron - 29/11/2013 02:05 - United States - Old Bridge

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

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Farmville

unwilling redneck - 24/05/2013 22:48 - United States

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

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Username - 10/07/2012 15:27 - United States

Today, I got mugged in broad daylight, in a park, by a teenage girl. To top it off, I'm a grown man. FML

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