Acesarcasm

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

Today, I was in an online chatroom speaking to this girl that I really hit it off with. She then confided in me that she'd recently been dumped by her boyfriend and that he was a jerk. A little while later, we exchanged photos. It was my ex. FML

Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML

Today, I met someone with the same name as me for the first time ever. I'm 20 years-old; he's 97. FML