Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML
moneyisha
UHM
United States
Ashley
Ça date de 2013 mais c'est de la bonne
Belmont, United States
Mind melting
Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I face-planted. I was going to say "Fuck you" and "I will kill you." It came out as "I will fuck you." He's still laughing. FML