Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML
Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
Today, I went on a first date. He left me standing at a bus stop while he took a dump in some bushes. FML
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