Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
ImSoTiredGosh
Jill
Santa Rosa, United States
idontwanttoknow
United States 🌶️ Épicée
Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML
Anonymous
Johannesburg, South Africa
Today, my estranged father, with whom I haven't spoken in years, called me and demanded to know where his Father's Day gift was. FML