paolosy

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

Today, I received a text message from my older brother. It said, "Ah... I want you". I hope to god it was intended for someone else. FML

That'll do it

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML