kinky44

Today, I sent my father a text asking when he was finally coming to meet his 4-month-old granddaughter. His response? "I forgot." He forgot he has a granddaughter. FML

Today, my younger sister stopped talking to me. I got engaged to my boyfriend of 4 years and apparently, she's been in love with him since she met him. Through me. She's 12. FML

Ouch

Today, I dislocated my toe while putting on my socks. FML

Today, I started lactating. That would be fine if I had a kid. Or was pregnant. Or wasn't 16. FML

****** addict

Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML

Pure evil

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

Today, I learned that not only do wood ticks have a habit of dropping off of branches onto you as you walk under them, they also like to hang out in groups of five or six. FML

Today, I decided to go thrifting to save some money. Ironically, I ended up having to pay for an emergency trip to the hospital because somebody was too lazy to wash the cat hair off their clothes. I'm severely allergic to cats. FML

Today, a man tried to rob the store I work at. Before the guy was taken by the cops, he complained to my manager for "unfriendly behavior". He took it seriously and bitched me out for not providing "quality service" to our customers. FML