Mademoiselle Eucalyptus trees, New York 28 ans Célibataire
Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML
Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "The colours don't match." FML
Today, I walked in on my dad and his new "girlfriend". A couple days ago I realized that my sexy clothes that my boyfriend had bought me for our anniversary was missing. Guess who was wearing it? FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of four years. Her response? First, she threw up all over me, then she started crying hysterically. I'll take that as a no. FML
Today, I found out that if you lose contact with people in your previous school, they decide to spread rumors about you and make everyone believe that you're dead. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML
Today, we had my school musical. The girls have to wear long skirts. I had a thong on, and while we were dancing the guy behind me stepped on my skirt. It fell to my ankles... the whole audience saw my ass. FML
Today, my mom admitted that her story about my dad leaving us for his current wife was a lie. He left when he caught her with a coworker. She blocked his number and got a restraining order to keep him from telling his side of the story. I haven't talked to my dad for six years because of this. FML
Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML
Today, my friends let me win at strip poker so I wouldn't take off my clothes. FML
Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML
Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML
Today, I found out that my mom goes through my garbage. I'm 25 and don't live with her. FML
Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML
Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML
Today, I finally realized that the only time my mother talks to me is when she needs money. FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook and found out that my own mother unfriended me because she didn't want her new boyfriend to know that she had a daughter. FML
Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML
Today, my boyfriend went to the beach. His parents relentlessly tried to hook him with other girls, all the while knowing that we're dating. Their reasoning is that I'm not a 'real girlfriend.' FML
Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML
Today, I learned that there's nothing quite like coming downstairs in a t-shirt and panties, only to discover your fiancé has a bunch of his friends over. FML
Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML
Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has a chipped tooth is because his teeth hit another girl's teeth while kissing her. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend of 3 years out to where we had our first date. I proposed to her. She breaks down in tears as she tells me she's been sleeping with her co-worker for the past year. FML
Today, I was bored so I got my little brother's toy spaceship and a teddy bear, went to my room and started flying them around, having dog fights, making explosion noises and humming epic orchestral music. My mom opened my bedroom door, showing our new hot female neighbour around the house. I'm 19. FML
Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained that I eat too quickly and don't thoroughly chew my food. My dad exclaimed, "That's because she swallows!" FML
Today, my virgin girlfriend who wanted to lose her virginity to me got on Google, and quizzed me on how to properly put on a condom. She doesn't trust me. FML
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
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