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baldspot - 02/04/2012 05:38 - Australia

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

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2 889

spanishsucks - 01/04/2012 03:01 - United States - Livingston

Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML

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2 911

kittyslayer - 15/12/2011 02:46 - United States

Today, my landlord came and beat on my door demanding the rent check. I just got home from a trip and my wife was supposed to pay it while I was away. What happened to the money? Black Friday. FML

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3 889

Sam - 03/02/2012 04:00 - Canada

Today, I got punched by a man for making fun of his stutter. I didn't. I stutter too. FML

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2 670

That shit adds up

melikeyturtles - 03/07/2012 15:08 - United States - Chicago

Today, I found out my home health patient purposely drinks tons of prune juice every night so I will have a huge mess to clean up in the morning because I'm "a lazy bastard" and I "need to work harder." FML

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