Mikeexl

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

First date, and probably the last

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML