Mademoiselle Philadelphia 9 ans
Today, my 12 year-old step-child told me he’s been deliberately wetting - and sometimes crapping - the bed because he’s too lazy to get up, and knows it’s someone else’s problem to clean up after him. It’s been going on for years. FML
Today, I discovered that my obese 57-year-old mother’s flat-out refusal to close the door when she uses the bathroom doesn’t change even when I have friends over. FML
Today, I got my period during my dance solo. My costume was white. FML
Today, my wife screamed to stop the car in an intersection, so I slammed on the brakes. From the left, an SUV rammed full force into us. My wife is unharmed, but I now have a broken left arm and our car is totaled. On the bright side, she caught the Pokémon in the road. FML
Today, while celebrating my birthday, my friends hired a few escorts to make the party more interesting. This was a really bad way to learn that my sister is a prostitute. FML
Today, I went to a corporate event and lit my hair on fire in front of everyone due to an unfortunately-placed candle on the bar. FML
Today, I found out that I have to take a weekly workshop outside of class time all semester, and it's only offered on the day I have the most work hours. I barely make ends meet as it is, but the professor said to figure it out or fail. FML
Today, after faking my orgasms for several years, I found out that my boyfriend has been telling his friends that I'm super loose because he doesn't feel anything when I'm cumming. FML
Today, at work, I cashed out a sweet old lady. As I handed her the bag, she looked at me kindly and said, "Don’t worry sweetie. It'll get better," to which I responded, "What will get better?" She smiled at me and said, "Your face." FML
Today, for the first time in years, I worked up the nerve to ask a work friend if they wanted to hang out sometime. They winced, and said they were busy that day. I hadn't specified a day. FML
Today, my father told me that because of my 4.0 with all AP classes, I could choose where to eat tonight. My stepmother told him I wanted to eat at IKEA, of all places, because that's what she wanted. Guess who he believed, and guess where I am right now. FML
Today, my fiancé asked his 13-year-old sister what role she wanted in our upcoming wedding. Her response was "Saying I object!" FML
Today, after drinking myself to an oblivion, I awoke with a massive hangover. I didn’t want to go to work, but every excuse I came up with in my head screamed of alcoholics. When I arrived, my boss asked me why I was there. It was my day off. FML
Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML
Today, I apologized to my boyfriend because I'd been rather snappy with him the last few days due to stress. His response? "It's okay baby, I'm used to you being a bitch." FML
Today, I was suspended for "selling drugs on campus". I was trying to give the school nurse approved medication for my severe epilepsy. I'm suspended for 3 weeks and have to go to a drug seminar. FML
Today, after working on my novel for two years, I found out that another book has recently been published with an almost identical plot. I was going to submit it to a publisher in two days. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML
Today, my wife asked me to back up all the photos and videos from our desktop computer so I synced it with my Google account. Every graphic picture and video my wife and I have ever exchanged was sent to all 3 of our children's tablets. My daughter cried all night. FML
Today, the $800, large capacity, professional carpet steam cleaner my husband supposedly bought me for Christmas got "lost in the mail". So did the refund. FML
Today, I accidentally sent a nude to my 10-year-old brother. FML
Today, I finally felt better after having the flu for two weeks. I decided to do some much-needed cleaning that I hadn't been able to do while sick. I tripped over my rug and broke my ankle. FML
Today, during my annual performance evaluation, my boss responded to my career goal with, "Pfft! That ain't gonna happen." FML
Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but when I took out the ring it flew out of the box and disappeared. She's been crying for 3 hours and I'm down 2 grand. I still don't know what her answer is. FML
Today, I finalized my new car purchase after three months on the job at a new company. Two hours later, I was informed that my position has been eliminated. I have two weeks to find a new job or I'm completely screwed. FML
Today, I got a check for $100 for a random selecting at work. My boyfriend’s reaction? Light it on fire out of jealously. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked if I could somehow get uncircumcised so I could add an inch to my length. FML
Today, my mother, who insists on sticking her nose into every aspect of my life, found out I'm only "middle management" and called my boss to criticize her for undervaluing me, demanding I be promoted immediately. I'm now the laughing stock of my office. FML
Today, I asked my husband when he first knew he loved me. He replied, totally honestly, that I was the easiest girl he'd ever managed to talk into a one-night stand, only instead of doing the walk of shame the next morning, I stayed so long we ended up married with kids. FML
Vous voulez la partager avec les autres utilisateurs de VDM ?
Votre VDM a bien été soumise, elle devrait apparaître en modération bientôt !
Vous pouvez publier votre VDM sur Reddit, elle sera automatiquement publiée sur la communauté.
Poster ma VDM sur Reddit
