masterminor

Today, I decided to finally talk to my crush. I said, "Hello" to which he replied, "First, dye your hair blonde and grow some boobs, then we can talk business." FML

Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML