AuroZ

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

Today, I saw Les Misérables. I was singing along to one of the songs when the guy next to me dumped his soda over my head and told me to shut up. FML

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML