Tunis, Tunisie 32 ans Célibataire
Today, I was in bed with my fiancé. After a while of quiet cuddling, I said, "Babe, I have cold feet." He replied with, "Me too. Let's call off the wedding." I was talking about the actual temperature of my feet. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML
Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML
Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML
Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML
Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML
Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML
Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad just looked at him and said, "How much did she pay you? I doubt it was enough." FML
Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML
Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
Today, my sister sent me countless pictures of my boyfriend making out with different girls at a bar. His excuse? Photoshop. FML
Today, I had my last orchestra concert and had a large solo. My dad came to watch and record it; however, the whole time he recorded another girl, thinking it was me. FML
Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML
Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML
Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML
Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML
Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML
Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML
Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Facebook. I don't even have Facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend of four years is legally married to a man in prison. He gets out next week. FML
Today, I figured out why the man I've been seeing for 3 years hasn't asked for my hand in marriage. His current wife called me and told me all about it. FML
Today, I saw a guy I like when I was out shopping. We acknowledged each other with a little wave, but as I walked away, I heard him say to his friend, "She's never gonna get me with THAT moustache." FML
Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for the tattoo artist who gave us our matching "love" tattoos. FML
Today, I was talking to a really cute guy. He leaned closer and I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, he leaned back, laughed and said, "Wow. You're growing a mustache." FML
Today, I changed my Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship." The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML
Today, my husband invited a couple of his college friends over for dinner. While we were in the middle of eating, one of them asked loudly, "Hey, whatever happened to that fat bitch you dated in your third year?" We've been dating since his second year. FML
Vous voulez la partager avec les autres utilisateurs de VDM ?
Votre VDM a bien été soumise, elle devrait apparaître en modération bientôt !
Vous pouvez publier votre VDM sur Reddit, elle sera automatiquement publiée sur la communauté.
Poster ma VDM sur Reddit
