Mademoiselle Ft. Lauderdale, USA 28 ans Célibataire
Today, my fiance told me that he no longer loves me, that he still has feelings for an ex. The wedding is off and he needs the ring back to give to the right woman. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years sent me a text message saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML
Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He's 6'2 and I'm 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML
Today, my step-mother threw a surprise party on my acceptance to college. People kept telling me how delightfully shocked and happy they are for me. "UPenn" was written everywhere, when I really got into Penn State. Everyone thinks I'm going to an Ivy League. FML
Today, I ordered a graduation cake from a woman at the grocery store. She asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I said "Congratulations Annie". Then she asked me who was ordering and I said "Annie". I had to order my own cake. The woman was silent. FML
Today, my boyfriend was on the roof of his house. I climbed the ladder but I'm kind of scared of heights, so when I got up there I just sat on the edge. The gutter broke, fell down, and I fell along with it. My boyfriend then said, "I've been trying to tell you to go on a diet". FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years proposed to me. Less than two minutes later, he decided he wasn't ready for the commitment. After I had already said yes. FML
Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML
Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML
Today, I came home early from work, and caught my girlfriend with my best friend. I forgave her. She thinks it's because I love her. It's because I wouldn't get laid otherwise. FML
Today, the girl I have been dating for the past five years asked me to move to California with her to get married. Naturally, I was thrilled and said, "Of course, when do you want to leave?". She just stared at me blankly and said, "Shit, I was kidding." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years has children. Not one, not two, but three. Not with one, two, but three women. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years took me out to breakfast. We were eating and he kept on staring at me like he was thinking of something really important. I thought he was going to say, "I love you". So I told him to, "say it already." Turns out he was thinking of a way to dump me. FML
Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML
Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him up 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML
Today, I went to go see my boyfriend of over two years in a play. I knew that he'd be kissing his female opposite at the end of the show, and I was okay with that. I snuck into his dressing room at intermission to find him "rehearsing" with her half-naked. FML
Today, I walked into my apartment to find my boyfriend of two years screwing my lifelong best friend. I immediately burst into tears. He looked at me and told me I was being too dramatic. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally invited me over to his parents' house so I could meet them. My boyfriend, his dad, and I were sitting in the living room when I saw a really sketchy person outside, so I said, "There's some creepy hobo man outside messing with your trash." The "creepy hobo" was his mom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were using our Skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he said, "It's an emergency," and that he had to go. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me his wife was going into labour. FML
Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone last night. He was hanging out with our mutual friend all night. She had been texting me all night about what great sex she was having. My boyfriend was the only person there besides her brother. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend of two years had joined a group on Facebook called "Guys who are proud of their girlfriends". I smiled and was about to like it when I noticed a comment below from a girl saying, "Awww thanks babe :) xxxx." FML
Today, I was telling a new friend of mine about my boyfriend. I told her his name and where he is from. She interrupted me and says, "Yeah drives a big white truck, rides dirt bikes?! I dated him two years ago!" This guy and I have dated for four years. FML
Today, my boyfriend actually offered me $1000 to break up with him, and to move back to where my family lives 5 hours away. FML
Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML
Today, I got fired from my recently acquired job at a doctor's office because I don't "agree with family values". The way I'm disrespecting their "family values"? I'm gay. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML
Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML
Today, after telling my parents just exactly what I thought of them and that I was moving out, the person I was supposed to move in with called to say they'd decided they would rather live alone. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. As we got to the ticket booth, a couple of girls queued behind us. My boyfriend graciously introduced me as his little sister, and invited the girls to join us. We've been together for two years. FML
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