Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML
Lemme_explain
Mademoiselle
Today, while on a haunted trail, I accidentally punched a high-schooler in the throat. FML
Today, my brother slapped me across the face with a piece of raw chicken for not liking his Instagram post. FML
Lawyer up
Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML