rejected
Milpitas, United States
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML
vegas_jose
Monsieur Las Vegas, United States of America 35 ans
Dancing King
Egersund, Norway
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
Anonymous
Chandler, United States 🌶️ Épicée
We're bad at this
Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML
meltdowninrels
Wellington, New Zealand 🌶️ Épicée
Supportive and empathetic
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML
Anonymous
Toronto, Canada 🌶️ Épicée
Prank war W
Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML