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TwoBytesCarley

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Hermit life

Anonymous - 19/06/2024 10:00 - United States - Springport

Today, I realized I'm more happier alone than I ever will with somebody else. FML

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So brave…

just say you want to leave! - 02/10/2023 16:00

Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML

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Tippi Hedren

Anonymous - 12/07/2022 06:00 - Australia

Today, my boss noticed some scratches on my shoulder and joked about how I must "like it rough". That's not a problem, we have a friendly working relationship. The problem is that I haven't had sex in nearly three years. The scratches are from my bird's claws. FML

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Spooky

Anonymous - 12/07/2022 14:00

Today, my mother continues to copy everything I do. So far, she's switched to seeing my doctor, my therapist, my hairdresser, and even shopping at my preferred supermarket. I've lived independently for ten years, but I'm starting to fear for my safety. FML

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It's a gas gas gas

Dog fart - - United States

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

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