Gasman051

Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML

Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML

Charming

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML