VacationRuined
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·Tokyo, Japan
Souvenir
Today, I left for a one and a half month trip to Japan with my boyfriend. He promptly broke up with me the first night in the hotel. When asked why he couldn't have waited until the trip was over, he said he didn't want to create "false memories." FML
sadpoorlady
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·Appley Bridge, United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend used the "this isn't working, we need to talk" line on me. How nice of him to wait this long to do so, just days after we returned from the expensive Caribbean holiday that I paid for. FML
foreveralone
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·United States
Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML
Anonymous
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·London, United Kingdom
Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML
Anonymous
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·Houston, United States
Today, I took my girlfriend of nearly 2 years out to dinner so I could propose. When the waiter brought the check, I caused a bit of a scene to get everyone's attention. When I got on my knee and proposed, she said no and asked if I could hurry up and pay, because she was embarrassed. FML
afraid of flying too
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·Fort Saint John, Canada
Today, I'm left with two non-refundable tickets to Jamaica, because my now ex-boyfriend said his Quidditch tournament is more important than seeing my "fat ass in a bikini". FML
Anonymous
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·Australia
Confused?
Today, I received 5 missed calls from a florist stating that they were having problems delivering a bouquet from my ex. I was thrilled at the idea of a reconciliation. Turns out however that he just got mine and his new girlfriend's phone numbers confused. FML
confusedandnowsingle
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·Espoo, Finland
Today, my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me. FML
bubblegum92
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·Perth, Australia
Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML
LadyFahrenheit
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·Hull, United Kingdom
Today, I found out how easy it is for people to get into my flat when I found bailiffs in my kitchen at 9am. They had picked the lock to look for someone who doesn't live at my address, but at least had the courtesy to tell me how to make my home more secure. FML
Paige
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·Witham, United Kingdom
Today, I found out my boyfriend regularly has his ex stay over. They even share a bed. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML
shouldbehappyiguess
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·Saint Cloud, United States
Today, a coworker complimented me on losing weight, and said that she wished she could drop a few pounds too. I was too embarrassed to tell her that the only reason I've lost weight is because I haven't been able to afford to eat. FML
Anonymous
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·Toronto, Canada
Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML
accountnamevalid
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·Littleton, United States
Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML
Anonymous
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·Bury, United Kingdom
Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her by another girl's name. FML
xXxXxTOBIxX
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Ça date de 2013 mais c'est de la bonne
·Raleigh, United States
Chillaxed
Today, while relaxing in a chair in a shop, a man approached me and said, "You have no idea how many times I've farted in that chair." FML
Anonymous
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·Lemvig, Denmark
Today, I've been bedridden for the past two weeks. My boyfriend casually remarked that he understands now why some people cheat on their seriously-ill partners. Thanks for adding to the stress, sweetie. FML
i suck, this i know :(
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·Blantyre, Malawi
Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, and I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" and that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML
Odnel
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·Arlington, United States
Nervous Nelly
Today, my family and I visited my cousins in Virginia. When we arrived, we found that they already had guests over. I've stuttered my whole life, so when they asked me what my name was, I stuttered for several seconds trying to say my name. Everyone burst out laughing. FML
Immaculatedream
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·New Zealand
Sounds reasonable…
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after 4 perfectly happy years together. The reason? He had a dream in which his dead former girlfriend from when he was 13 told him she still loved him. He now believes his dead childhood sweetheart is trying to contact him and I'm "in the way of their love." FML
Anonymous
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·Ludvika, Sweden
Today, I was crying at my desk at work. My colleague tried to cheer me up by saying: "Don't worry, I'm sure you will find a new job soon". I didn't even know I was fired. I was crying because my cat died this morning. FML
Anonymous
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·Riverside, United States 🌶️ Épicée
Not going so well, is it?
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML
Opheliae
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·Allendale, United States
Today, I watched my boyfriend flirt with a cashier and write down his number for her, through the liquor store window, while I sat in the car waiting for him to finish buying things for our "romantic movie night." FML
Anonymous
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Ça date de 2013 mais c'est de la bonne
·United States
How romantic, Honey!
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
kayak probs
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Ça date de 2013 mais c'est de la bonne
·Newtown, United States
Landlocked
Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years. I can't get it out of my basement. FML
imagrouch
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·Slippery Rock, United States
Today, I had to have a serious talk with my 30-year-old husband about why Sesame Street isn't a "soap opera." FML
Miami6and3
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·Pasadena, United States
Thanks
Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I didn't have one. She said "Exactly." FML
still together
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·Keansburg, United States
Today, my sister announced that she and her boyfriend are getting married. Her boyfriend is my husband. We're not even legally divorced yet. FML
Anonymous
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·Warrington, United Kingdom
Yada yada yada
Today, I finally got up the courage to talk to my four-year boyfriend about how insecure I've been feeling in our relationship recently, and how I needed his support while I try to get my self-esteem back on-track. He fell asleep mid-conversation. FML
heartbroken
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·Cupertino, United States
Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML