Mademoiselle Johannesburg, South Africa 33 ans En couple
Today, I am pregnant, and my boyfriend dumped me, saying that he didn't want to be stuck in anything too serious. FML
Today, I discovered that my girlfriend of two years has been cheating on me for over five months, including while I was deployed to Afghanistan. FML
Today, after shoveling one guy's steps, sidewalk, and driveway for two hours straight, I went to ask for my money. He said, "Work is its own reward!" and shut the door in my face. FML
Today, I realized that not only did my parents not get me anything for Christmas, they also stole the $500 my grandparents gave me to buy a computer. FML
Today, I had to choose between living with my overprotective dad who only uses me for free childcare, or my pot-smoking mom who always needs to borrow money. FML
Today, I found out that my mother in-law's flight home is canceled, and that she's staying three more days. FML
Today, I found out that my parents didn't come to my wedding not because they couldn't make it, but rather that my younger brother didn't want to go. FML
Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML
Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML
Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML
Today, I was in a very crowded train coming home from work. I saw a cute guy sitting across from me. As I lifted my one leg to hook it over my other leg, I let out a loud fart. All I could do was sit there and wait for my stop. FML
Today, my little girl spoke her first word. It was ''Daddy." Daddy left before she was born and she has never met him before. FML
Today, while driving home from basketball practice, I noticed an old lady struggling to get up from a fall. I stopped to help her up and make sure she was fine, and in the meantime, a teenager decided to hop into my car and crash it into a telephone pole and run away. FML
Today, I had the last wedding meeting with my fiancé at our church. Running extremely late from my friends house I failed to notice a small penis drawn on my forehead by my friends when I fell asleep after a party. The priest wasn't too happy and said numerous prayers for me. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to put vinegar in my contact solution. I took my contacts out hours ago and my eyes still burn. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML
Today, I came home and was greeted by my dad telling me that he pawned my guitar for gas money. FML
Today, I was giving myself a breast exam for lumps. I heard laughing, looked around and saw that the 12 year-old neighbor and his friends were watching through the window. FML
Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML
Today, an antiques dealer made a joke about chopping off and buying my deformed left hand. FML
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, I swapped a shift so I didn't have to work on New Year's Eve. An hour later, I realized I didn't have anyone to spend it with. I swapped it back. I'll be ringing in the New Year with my boss. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML
Today, I went on my first date in months. My mum had invited friends over, and when I told them I was going out on a date, my mum said "No you're not, don't lie. Who would go out with you?" FML
Today, I found out that when I thought the bullying had finally stopped, the bullies had actually been sponsored to be nice for charity. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that her parents have a bet going on when we are going to break up. FML
Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML
Today, I was taking my earrings out and thought I had lost the back of one. Turns out my ear infection has caused the flesh of my ear to grow around and engulf the back of my earring and it is still stuck in there. FML
Today, six months have passed since my parents announced that they're getting a divorce. We're all still awkwardly living together because we haven't been able to sell our house yet. FML
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