sarahbaby97

Today, I was at the airport, about to listen to Disney's Camp Rock soundtrack on my iPhone. I pressed play, only to realize that my headphones weren't plugged in all the way. Everone sitting near me heard Joe Jonas' voice coming from my phone. I am 40 years old. FML

Thanks, spellcheck

Today, I realized the senior thesis I turned in last week uses the word "asses" instead of "assess" 17 times. FML

Today, the bartender pulled me aside and told me that she saw my date slip something into my drink. Who was my date? My husband of four years. FML

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I met at a masquerade. The moment he saw me without my mask on, he left the date. FML

Today, someone whistled, so I turned around. The guy behind me then said, "Did you seriously think that it was meant for you?" FML

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML