srahsrah

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML

Today, my husband suggested we get divorced, "for tax purposes". FML

Today, I found out my husband has a fake Facebook account that he uses to add guys and live a double life as some kind of "gamer chick". This would be disturbing enough, even if he hadn't used pictures of me to give a face to his alter ego. FML

Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like he loved me. He looked away and replied, "Fair enough". FML

Not going out

Today, I've been one year sober. My health has improved a lot, unlike my social life, which has died a horrible, lonely death. FML

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy I met at a bookstore. He stood up and said he was leaving when I said that I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey, because he, "doesn't want to be near a bitch who doesn't know her place". He then told me to give him a ride home. FML

Today, I walked from my friend's wedding to my divorce. FML

Today, because my fiancé is criminally incompetent at budgeting, I'm now having to pay the first installment for my own wedding ring. FML

Today, I decided to be honest and told my husband I didn't love him anymore. It ended with a warrant for his arrest. FML

Today, I washed my boyfriend's work clothes, trying to make up for a fight we had earlier. After taking them out, I found his phone, wallet and keys at the bottom of the washer, completly waterlogged. This is not the peace offering I'd hoped for. FML

Today, I overheard my friends laughing about how my anxiety means I'll be single forever. I was too anxious to confront them. FML

Today, I knew my relationship was basically over when my boyfriend invited me over, and I was more excited about seeing his dog than seeing him. FML

Today, I get more pleasure out of scratching my balls than I do out of any sexual activity with my girlfriend. FML

Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over something that happened 5 years ago. We've only been together for 2 years as of this July. FML

Today, unfortunately, my new husband's idea of foreplay is to tap me on the shoulder and tell me to roll over. I saved myself for marriage for this? FML

Today, my drinking habit hit a new low when I waited almost an hour to go to the liquor store after it opened because I didn't want to seem desperate. FML

Today, I'm pretty sure my sister is being catfished. Now I have the choice of either telling her and risking her staying with her abusive husband or letting her think her new "boyfriend" is a good guy who didn't just "accidentally" send me a shower picture. FML

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend one last chance at fixing our failing relationship. Instead of talking about how to fix our dying relationship, he decided to game all day and ignore me. FML

Today, my boyfriend wanted to get into an open relationship. He has no romantic feelings for me anymore, but he didn't want to separate from my cat. FML

Today, my husband told me he's just "not interested" in having sex anymore. FML

Today, I shaved my vagina for the first time ever. Had sex with my husband and then asked if he liked that. He said, "You've done that before, though". I haven't. We've been married 15 years. FML

Today, I found out that my wife is seeing a marriage counselor. With her ex. FML

Puzzled

Today, I found out why my wife has been upset with me for the last week. She told me this morning that I did something to upset her on our date night last Friday, she won't tell me what, and she said she'll leave me if I do it again. FML