Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML
CraZZZyL0VE
Madame Pasadena, United States En couple
Today, I bought a large ice cream cake. No, there's no occasion, but I did ask the cashier to write "Happy Birthday" on it, just so she wouldn't know I was going to eat it all myself. FML
Today, I received a package in the mail. It was a workout and weight-loss plan that I ordered last week. I finished an entire pizza and pint of ice-cream as I read the guidelines. FML