Mademoiselle Omaha, United States 30 ans Célibataire
Today, my girfriend of two years told me she wasn't actually a lesbian and our relationship was more of a 'learning experience'. FML
Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been dying to have kids together. This would be an exciting moment if he wasn't deploying in June and will miss everything except the morning sickness. FML
Today, I told my crush of two years that I love him. He responded with an, "Aww, I'm sorry." and a pity hug. FML
Today, my boyfriend referred me to me as "just a friend" to his ex. They swapped phone numbers. FML
Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML
Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML
Today, I returned home to find the key to my mailbox missing. I called the post office and was informed that a new key will cost me $15. I have no money, and my paycheck is in the mailbox. FML
Today, a guy who annoys me walked over. To avoid speaking to him, I pretended to be on the phone and he walked away. A few moments later, my phone rang. I looked around to see if he'd seen me. He had. He was the one calling me from down the hall. FML
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