Monsieur Marlton, United States of America 46 ans
Today, my girlfriend and I went on vacation. We flew 2000 miles, got off the plane, got our bags and stood outside the airport for our ride. She looks at me and says, "I can't do this anymore." So, she broke up with me and flew back home. Now I'm on vacation alone. FML
Today, I decided to wear string panties. While in line at the mall, they became untied. I was wearing a skirt. FML
Today, I superglued my headphones back together. They weren't dry before I put them back in my ears. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML
Today, I was arrested by the police for sitting in what they thought was a stolen vehicle. After being slammed into the back of a squad car at gunpoint, they realized the car was actually recovered a week ago. FML
Today, I found out that the cause of the recent pain in my chest was that I had a torn muscle. What caused this? I sneezed. FML
Today, after weeks of allowing my parents to borrow money, I got a check for $2000. I took it to the bank only to find out it was fake. FML
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