Monsieur Montreal, Canada 36 ans
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Today, I made a fake MySpace so that I could flirt with my boyfriend and see what he would do. He ended up dumping me for the fake MySpace girl. FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been seeing for 3 months lives at home with his parents. He's 30. They live in a '50+ only' housing complex and he sneaks in the side door. FML
Today, I slipped on the wet floor at work and sprained my wrist badly. I was carrying the wet floor sign so no one would slip. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
Today, I had to sift through hundreds of pages of legal documents. They were all written in Comic Sans font. FML
Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML
Today, I cleaned my toilet. I had forgotten it was white. FML
Today, I went to see a doctor about some of the memory problems I've been having. After the appointment, I could barely remember a thing he told me. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML
Today, I was writing out palm cards and didn't know if I'd spelled a word correctly, so I stared at it for about 10 seconds waiting for spell check to tell me if it was right or not before I realised I was writing on paper. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to go to the Apple store and log me on to Facebook on every single computer. FML
Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML
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