CammieMac

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

Today, after creating a swear jar for my son, I came back to find a $20 bill in it and him saying, "How much does that buy?" FML

Today, a customer at work asked me to ring her a taxi. The phone number she gave me was for a company 250 miles away. The woman on the other end thought I was deranged. FML

Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't have an email, I have a Gmail." FML

Today, I got mugged. For my Big Mac. What the fuck? FML

Today, I pissed my pants in fear for the first time. Was I at a spooky haunted house? Nope, I turned a corner and got startled by a parked car. FML