Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Umbreon01100
Monsieur Willard, Utah, United States of America 27 ans Célibataire
Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML
Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I made love. She stared at her One Direction poster the whole time. FML