Today, my professor cancelled class so I turned off my alarm. When I woke up, I checked my email again. There was no email from my professor. It was a dream. FML
mellzw
Célibataire
DreamsDontComeTrue
Newport News, United States
Milked Richard
Wagga Wagga, Australia
Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML
ZAnon
Houston, United States
Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML
fucked
Singapore, Singapore
Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML