Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
soccerdiva97
Ooooommmmmmmm
Today, I had to ask my mum not to meditate while driving. FML
Mind games
Today, I got more turned on by the idea of sex with my boyfriend than actually doing it. FML
Alert!
Today, I was woken up by my neighbour's dog losing its mind, and I remembered reading a story about someone ignoring a dog and later finding out that their car had been stolen. Paranoid, I went outside to check on mine. Nope. Just the damn dog barking at one thirty in the morning. FML