Today, my boss informed me I couldn't go on my "vacation" because he's leaving for one of his employees' weddings. That just so happens to be my wedding, for which I'm taking the vacation. FML
malloryjoy2
Madame En couple
bruhandbutercup
Hyattsville, United States
bootyislife
Seattle, United States 🌶️ Épicée
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML
Anonymous
Desoto, United States 🌶️ Épicée
Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML