Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
DevilGirl66
Mademoiselle somewhere I hate 31 ans En couple
Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML
Thanks for the memories
Today, it was the concert of my life. I had bought tickets the minute they went on sale, and I'd anxiously waited until the concert date. Thirty minutes before the show, my friend got so drunk that we weren't allowed in, and I was stuck babysitting her all night in the hotel, completely missing the show. FML
Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML
Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
Supernatural
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML
Roaming gangs
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
Today, after weeks of sorting, inspecting, and waiting, my high school's yearbooks were distributed. I'd searched carefully for photo errors and was proud to say there were none. That is, until someone told me that a boy on the last page was flipping the camera the bird. FML