SuperAnthony

Today, I sent my boyfriend a long and heartfelt message. He responded with "tl; dr". FML

Today, my apartment burned to the ground. I was packed and ready to move out tomorrow. FML

Health risk

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because, "It's chicken, not salmon." FML