sneezy_peasy

Perfect!

Today, after weeks of keeping it a secret, I excitedly gave my boyfriend what I thought to be the perfect Christmas present. Turns out lock picking sets are illegal in Ohio. FML

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML