Ace2254

Oh Lawd, he coming

Today, a small kid looked at me, screamed in terror, and hid behind his dad. I was just walking down the same aisle in the store. This is far from the first time it's happened. FML

Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML