Mademoiselle Célibataire
Today, I overheard my dad say "Last time I didn't use a condom, I ended up with Steven, so for god's sake use 'em." I'm Steven. FML
Today, I had a one-night stand. After holding in my farts all night, as you should, I decided enough was enough and tried to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out; instead I shat myself in her bed. I was naked at the time, so was unable to hide it. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, my two managers, both over 30, were arguing over whether or not butter is a sauce. FML
Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML
Today, I found out that my creepy neighbor paid a guy to install a camera in my bathroom. It's been there for three months. The guy he paid? My brother. FML
Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML
Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML
Vous voulez la partager avec les autres utilisateurs de VDM ?
Votre VDM a bien été soumise, elle devrait apparaître en modération bientôt !
Vous pouvez publier votre VDM sur Reddit, elle sera automatiquement publiée sur la communauté.
Poster ma VDM sur Reddit
