t_fml

humorizer 12 septembre 2012, 08:44 Mansfield, United States

Today, I came home from work to be given $1 by my mother. This normally would have been nice, had my mother not said, "I just sold that ugly old black and white picture frame you always leave lying around in your room." Which also would have been nice if that "frame" wasn't my Kindle. FML

97 commentaires

Bitchjackedmyball 12 septembre 2012, 08:52 Kihei, United States

Today, I had just bought a new $60 basketball and decided to go try it out. Five minutes into playing, the ball decided to roll into the hands of a little girl, who then said, "Mine!" I thought it was cute, until she skipped over to her parent's car, and they drove off. FML

161 commentaires

Anonymous 12 septembre 2012, 21:06 United States

Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML

218 commentaires

Anonymous 13 septembre 2012, 05:30 Campbell River, Canada 🌶️ Épicée

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

126 commentaires

Puppy problems 27 octobre 2013, 01:23 Essex Junction, United States

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML

56 commentaires

where do they come from 1 juillet 2014, 04:26 Bellingham, United States

Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML

68 commentaires

Anonymous 3 juillet 2014, 04:53 Muncie, United States

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML

71 commentaires

x.x Ça date de 2014 mais c'est de la bonne Tampa, United States

Oh no…

Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML

59 commentaires

wearyconsumer 23 décembre 2016, 05:29

Today, I threw out all the food in the freezer that my mom had been keeping since 2013. When she found out, she said, "frozen food doesn't go bad." FML

47 commentaires