Btreasure

They're after us!

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

Today, I had a lady come in to order a pizza. She wanted to use a free delivery coupon. After telling her several times that she couldn't use a free delivery coupon, unless she was having the pizza delivered, she told me I have horrible people skills. FML