TexasRanger

Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has more armpit hair than me. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he thinks that they look like giant zits, and when he squeezes them, he imagines them popping pus. He then reached for my chest. FML