mintgreen

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

You OK up there?

Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML

This is mine now

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML