Today, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." FML
Today, after months of arguing and conflict, I broke up wIth my fiancé. Or at least, I tried to. The wedding's off, but only until he can convince me to want to marry him again. FML
Today, I was taking my phone out of my pocket when it caught on the fabric and began to fall. I managed to catch it, but also smacked myself in the balls in the process. FML
Today I bought a $50 voucher card to refill my phone. After I purchased it, I threw the receipt in the dustbin. When I got home, I found out that the 14-digit pin code was on the receipt. I basically threw 57 bucks in the dustbin. FML
Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML
Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk for an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got home, my dad had gone out to pick my sister up from her friend's house. Her friend lives a 3-minute walk away. FML
Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on the subway. FML
Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend broke up with me. She immediately asked if it was because I didn't put out. I'm 15. FML
Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't have an email, I have a Gmail." FML
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