Mademoiselle Toronto 34 ans En couple
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I met at a masquerade. The moment he saw me without my mask on, he left the date. FML
Today, I accidentally rear-ended an undercover police car. FML
Today, I have both a cold and a period. Tomorrow, I will have a cold, my period and my wisdom teeth taken out. FML
Today, I decided to take a nap before a big job interview at 6. I set two alarm clocks to make sure I didn't miss it, but I woke up at 5:59. As I'm scrambling in a panic to get out the door, my mom says calmly, "I took your alarm clocks out of your room because you looked really tired today." FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook and found out that my own mother unfriended me because she didn't want her new boyfriend to know that she had a daughter. FML
Today, my dad decided that my diploma makes a good pen-tester. FML
Today, my grandfather died. The last thing he said to me was, "You smell awful." I work in a fish store. FML
Today, my mother wore a see through shirt. She wasn't wearing a bra. FML
Today, after being at summer camp for two weeks, my parents never showed up to take me home. A counselor had to drive me. FML
Today, I was practising the violin in my apartment. A man knocked on the door and introduced himself with a smile, saying he wanted to know my "schedule." I replied, "I'm pretty busy but maybe we could get a drink sometime." To which he replied, "No, I just want to know when you'll stop." FML
Today, I had the rehearsal for two of my friends' wedding. My ex-husband is also in the wedding, and I just found out we have to walk down the aisle together 'for height reasons'. FML
Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, I was woken up by the police pounding on my door, saying I was under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs, then plant them on my front lawn. FML
Today, I decided to watch a movie I hadn't seen before to bring my spirits up, as I've been feeling down lately. How did the movie end? Everybody died. FML
Today, I found my old sewing machine I got when I was a kid. I never used it before, because when I was younger, I was afraid I might sew my fingers. Laughing at myself, I decided to sew up an old bag. I sewed my thumb. FML
Today, my dad's cremated remains came in the mail. This is the first time in my entire adult life that he has visited me at my home. FML
Today, a little girl came up to me and asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" I said, "I'm a girl of course!" She walked away, looking dazed and saying, "Whoa." FML
Today, I found out that my 43 year-old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year-old kid on Halo. FML
Today, I received a marriage proposal at work from a 70 year-old man, covered in dirt from head to toe, who offered to be my "sugar daddy." I guess I have options after all. FML
Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML
Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML
Today, I changed my phone number because my old one belonged to a prostitute. My new one belongs to a debtor. FML
Today, a telemarketer found me so weird that he hung up on me. FML
Today, I went to my Calculus lecture, one of a class of 200 people. As I looked down I noticed that a guy a few rows in front of me was on Facebook. When I took a closer look, I noticed he was viewing my profile. He stalked the profile for a full 45 minutes. I have never met this guy in my life. FML
Today, it's the 3-month anniversary marking the day two friends and I shaved our heads as a show of solidarity for a friend starting chemo. Her prognosis is good and her hair only thinned slightly. We, on the other hand, look like a motley crew of lesbian biker chicks. FML
Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML
Today, my mom and I were escorted out of the KFC because my mom tried to mug and pick a fight with another customer. FML
Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave, which flashes "Enjoy your meal" when it finishes cooking something. FML
Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML
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