Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML
Today, I waited in line at Subway. There were two people in front of me. The first lady had seven sandwiches and the second lady had four. So after patiently waiting, I ordered my sandwich, only to have my credit card declined. FML
Today, while playing soccer, I was kicked so hard in the shin that my tibia snapped. The snap was so loud that even the audience heard. As we waited for an ambulance, my mom started yelling for me to get off the field so the game could continue. FML
Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML
Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML
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